stupid square and not being able to provide a decent FULL screen of silly chocobo head!!!!!! >.< i was looking for reference of Cloud for my Cloud wig i'm working on... and i noticed something, there's like not a single decent shot of Cloud that shows his entire hairdo... REALLY!!!!!!!! just go look! it's just about the most elusive thing you could want to find of a squeenix main character!!!!!!! you would think that with such a popular character, that you would be able to find a screenshot that showed his spikes... but NOOooOO!!!!!! i had to dig up video on youtube and take my own crappy screenshots to use as reference. >.> ok... so not quite so crappy... it was HD video of ACC... but i had to revert it back to normal color because it was uploaded inverted. >.< stupid squeenix!!!!! <.< well, at least that search had a good video i could use... try finding reference on Reno's hair... PFFFFTTTTT!!!! YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>.> sorry i haven't been active too much here... i've checked messages... but haven't had time to reply... sorry peoples, i've been busy.

As you may not have heard, since i phail at updates since school started, my friend and i are starting an Organization XIII cosplay group. Initially he was going to be Axel, and i was going to be Roxas, but as we find more people, (and more people who want to cosplay Axel than we can handle) and as slots start filling up, and it seems unlikely certain slots will be filled without type casting/hiring people, i had decided to change from Roxas to Larxene... however, as it seems more and more likely we may find another Larxene, and actual blond, who will look decent in a blond wig (unlike me) i have decided to change yet again, this time for good. because i KNOW that no one else i know in their right mind would want to cosplay him... or could even pull it off as well, especially the voice... i have decided to cosplay Xigbar. i still shutter a bit to think about it... he was most certainly not my first choice, but from the moment i realized i can talk JUST LIKE HIM (and no, he doesn't talk like a pirate, it's more like surfer) and that i can pull the right look for the face better than anyone i know (hello, i chose to cosplay Tseng and Vincent Valentine for that exact reason) that perhaps the best choice member for me to cosplay is number II, Xigbar. and actually, i must admit, i laughed pretty hard on the missions i've gone on with him so far in 358/2, and i do like his fighting style in mission mode. BUT the big thing that has me even remotely considering it is a spoiler my friend told me about... that alludes to the possibility of Xigbar's somebody being someone cool from BbS... someone i was considering cosplaying...

on that note, i finally finished my young Zack Fair wig!!!!! and i wore it to the anime meeting last saturday, and i had a great deal of fun doing so! i also got my first wig commission, i'm doing a Lulu wig from Final Fantasy X for a friend... problem is, it's a cheap wig and i'm going to have to add wefts to the back... but fortunately i have a lot of left over length that i cut off the wig i made into my Zack Fair wig (about 50 inches or so) that i can add into this Lulu wig.

alright, alas, i must go get ready for school...

OMG! it's out! it's finally out!!!!! Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days FINALLY hit shelves today!!!!!!! i had it reserved and i went to pay it off and pick it up today!!!!!! i've already played it!!!! (for those of you who follow my journals, yes, i finally actually have a DS now... sorta i'm buying a friends DS, but sorta just have it until i can pay him...) OMG! i've already gotten to Day 11, but unfortunately i can't get much farther today, as i have a HUGE project due tomorrow and i haven't really started it yet (bad me...) but yeah, i got to Day 11, and i did the first mission in Mission mode... (though it took me three tries) and honestly, i was giddy as you wouldn't believe (or maybe you would) to play as Axel... but the novelty wore off quickly as he is fairly sluggish in the controls, (which are the same for every character, he just moves rather slowly even though his attacks are fast. i suppose it's more like he takes his sweet time running around, and his quick attacks are not really all that efficient ... so i won't be battling anyone over who gets to use Axel... the joke is on the person using him (or maybe the joke's on me because the shoulder buttons on this DS don't work so i can't target heartless, and that's why Axel seems to suck when you play as him)) Demyx was surprisingly, actually a good fighter (he always is) though his attacks aren't very powerful, though more accurate than Axel's... so they sort of balance out... but, even having only tried three characters... i think i may have found a front runner for my fav in mission mode: Xemnas... he uses final form version Glide constantly!!!!! so he moves MUCH FASTER than Axel who just sort of seems to be in no big hurry, and Demyx who is weighted down by Sasha (don't get it? it's a 'Demyx Time' joke) the only problem with using glide all the time is: you remember how hard it was to turn and corner with Sora in the Final Drive Form? well, imagine being stuck in final form and having to turn corners to find heartless... yeah... but he makes up for it by dealing a MASSIVE amount of damage with each swing of his blades... knocking enemies at least twice as far as i ever saw Axel knock them... however, his swings are slow, but speed up in combos... making him overall, the best character i've used so far... i even prefer him to using Roxas... for now.

anyways, Raven, you can have Axel, i don't want to use him in multiplayer mode.

*EDIT 9/29/09 @ 6:30*

and big surprise, my mom's pissed at me now that she knows i bought this game for this little handheld... i have a feeling there's going to be hell for me to pay in the next few days... oh well, can't take it back now...

*Edit 10/2/09*

Check out my newest vid on Youtube! it's not huge enough news to warrant a new journal... but it's still worth checking out! here: [link] it's a Demyx Tribute!!!!

OMG!!!!!! AWA was sheer awesomeness!!!!!!!! i don't have much time to talk about it because i have to get caught up with some schoolwork. i've gotten all my pictures uploaded to myspace now, so if you want to check them out, they're right here: [link] (hope that works)

i will say the highlights had to be getting interviewed by Tamaki while cosplaying Reno, the FFVII Shinra Reunion shoot, getting a picture i drew of Abel Nightroad signed by Troy Baker (the voice actor for said character)and trying to go to the 'Yaoi After Dark' panel... though the epic fail of the con was that my ride called me like 30 minutes into the panel and i didn't get to stay for the whole thing... but it was fun because i was hanging out with friends from my anime group for that. (hehehe, i was going to make a wise crack when i got to the front of the Yaoi paddle line, we were supposed to say our name, and how hard we wanted to be paddled, since i was cosplaying Reno, i was going to say 'Reno, and medium, but you'd better not leave a mark or Rufus Shinra will be after you' hoping to get some fangirl squee... and because i'm a shameless promoter of my Fav pairing, RenoxRufus. and because in the opening slideshow, i saw Reno twice, once sandwiched between Yazoo and Kadaj, and again with Zack and Cloud... (wait, do people really think he's that much of a man-whore that he'd be all about three-ways? for shame) anyways, i got my call WAY before i got to make my wise crack... and had to leave in the last ride back to our hotel. and not 15 minutes later, as i got back to the hotel, called me to say she was back at the con and dressed as Vampire Hunter D, which i had been REALLY looking forward to seeing for like a year and a half... oh well, maybe next time.

yeah, i got a bit of cool shwag, 260+ pics, some new friends, and a crap load of college homework that's due tomorrow and thursday. bye for now!!!!!

First off, sorry i haven't been on in a while, i've been VERY VERY busy working, and school just started this week, so i've been even busier, also, i've been freaking out over getting ready for AWA (Anime Weekend Atlanta) but now that it seems that i really am going, i have decided on three costumes i'll be wearing (still haven't decided on the Ball costume yet, but that's not that big of a deal, i'll pull something together and it will be just fine.) I'm going as Reno (actually, i'm bringing everything for my Reno, but i'm going to cosplay Tseng at first because there's going to be a FFVII photo-shoot, and someone in my anime group is going as Reno, so i'm gonna change it up a bit, and go as Tseng and switch to Reno afterwards. (Fyre, why not wear Vincent to the shoot? ... because it's September, and it's WAY too hot to wear Vincent what with all the leather and fleece... and i never finished the gauntlet or the gun, and i came up with two others to cosplay. Vincent can just wait until Connooga in February, along with Tifa, and Lulu, or Re-l Meyer (Ergo Proxy) if i ever make them) i have a KH2 Kairi now, just have to finish the belt w/ the little pouch. (and some pink converse would be nice, but i can do without if i have to) and my newest addition, Rinoa Heartilly of Final Fantasy VIII which is nearly complete, all it needs are the wings on the back of the blue duster, but other than that it's finished (except the weapon... and yeah, i am kinda substituting the skirt with a pair of blue shorts for this weekend, but i'll have the skirt soon enough)

yeah, the anime at the library thing is this saturday (tomorrow) where they'll be showing Gurren Laggen, and i'll be doing a trial run of my Rinoa costume there since it seems people sometimes dress up for it, (i was a casual FFX Lulu last time, and Reno the time before) then next weekend is a costume show off/contest at the regular club meeting, to show off what we're wearing to AWA (or the people that aren't going to show off the costume they would take if they were) to those who can't go/ aren't going. (not that i don't try and get into the spirit for every meeting lately, i did casual FFX Rikku last week, Tifa the week before, and Aerith the week before... (all casual because i don't have them finished/started yet.. but was really just dressing to compliment the hairstyles) then the next weekend is AWA and i am SUPER EXCITED!!!!!! i can't believe that everything seems to be coming together for me to go!!!!

Now, on to my rant, explaining the 'angsty' mood.

College just started on Monday, and i've liking it so far, i've been working in the printing department for a few weeks now, and i'm enjoying the work. i know my classes are going to keep me busy, which is a good thing. not certain about my math class, i do best with a lecture class, and they only offer hybrid courses, where you go sit in a classroom and do problems on the internet, and you can ask the teacher for help but the teacher doesn't lecture... at all... i mean hybrid means they're supposed to talk about what we're learning, and then we do stuff online right? and my teacher is a Ph.D. but he can't give a lecture? i think that's insanity. did math teachers all suddenly forget how to teach? i mean come on!!!! he's a Ph.D., and he can't give a simple lecture? this may as well have been an online course!!!! it's stupid, and they don't offer a single traditional lecture course for Intermediate Algebra? moving on

I have two Design courses this semester, both with the same teacher, a teacher that insulted young american anime artists in the middle of class. and i know he was thinking of the rabid fangirls that can't draw to start with, and try to draw in the anime style because they just totally love it! that's not me.

This is who i am:
i grew up on anime, i remember watching G-Force, Speed Racer, and Sailor Moon when i was very young, i loved Sonic the Hedgehog, and Power Rangers, my favorite Sega Genesis game was Street Fighter, we started watching My Neighbor Totoro in 4th grade, but the teacher never finished showing it... i recall watching the movie The last Unicorn over and over. all of those have Japanese influences... if not straight anime. then, the Pokémon craze hit, and i was in the middle of it, loving it, then i moved on to Digimon, Zoids, Sailor Moon was suddenly on again. were there any american animated shows i watched? sure, plenty, but none that had the impact on me that the anime did. (ok, i did like the X-Men series, but that had animation unlike american cartoons which i watched but never really got into the animation style, and i watch Disney, which had sophisticated animation, and somewhat large eyes, like anime almost when you consider my age at the time, but there was always something different about the actual japanese shows) and even after i'd seen my first anime (G-Force, Speed Racer, and Sailor Moon) i had a 1st grade teacher who was of Japanese descent, and was raised in Hawaii, and she made a point of exposing her classes to different cultures other than the typical american traditions, and the things she knew best were Japanese and Hawaiian culture... (although she brought in other people who knew about other cultures, years later i came to her class to demonstrate scottish highland dancing, which was an element of my own heritage, to show another culture to her students that year) but right away, i took a special affinity to the Japanese culture i was shown that year, and never really had the same reaction to the Hawaiian... there was just something about the Japanese. i even begged my mom to get me a Kimono, in 1st grade, i learned how to write my name in katakana, though i forgot it after a year or so. but i have had a long standing fascination with all things Japanese, one that has not waxed and waned over the years, but remained constant. but my point in this is that i was raised on anime, it's part of my identity, part of who i am.

My style developed on it's own, i started out drawing realistic style, but i soon went to line work, in fact, i was always better at line-art than realistic, i'd always try to define lines, and my realistic stuff looked like crap for it. so i quickly defined my art as line-art, but there was something out of place with the eyes, they always looked strange because they were too defined for the line work i was doing, and i'd been drawing two ways that time, with a realistic type eye for my own work, and i'd been free-hand copying anime reference to work on my technical aspect (the OC art and technical work met further down the road when i stopped copying exactly, and using pictures for pose, and line reference, and my OC art suddenly started improving greatly when i had an understanding of how to draw different poses using a dummy body model base, and a good grip on logical proportions, and started drawing larger) anyways, back when i started drawing in these two separate ways, i discovered Vampire Princess Miyu (and Legend of Zelda a bit before VPM) and started copying different anime styles for technical practice, but i soon found a general style and design that wasn't exactly like anything i'd seen, but i was extremely comfortable with, was easy for me to re-produce of my own free hand, and suited the rest of my line work, and i ran with it. (i've since made improvements based on a wider array of styles i've seen, and have taken tiny pieces of that i liked, and made my own, and also naturally improved as my technical merit improved) and have since come to my current style.

Now, an art teacher years ago once told me to find my own style, that i shouldn't copy other people and whatnot, and i got upset at that time, because he was not familiar with the world of manga/anime art as i was, and had not seen how much i had progressed on my own, and was not used to seeing enough manga/anime to be able to see defined, individual styles within the wide array of art that fell into the category. in fact, he'd had very little exposure to the manga/anime genera of art at all, and i passed it off as 'you just don't realize i do have my own style, and people can look at it and see it's different from other styles. (and by that time i'd been exposed to so many styles that there was no way i was going to copy one style exactly, though at the time i was trying to integrate lessons learned from watching InuYasha, and my art took on an appearance somewhat similar to Rumiko Takahashi, but i was still only practicing my craft, and trying different things.) i understand that to people who are outsiders, some of the nuances and subtle differences between styles are difficult if not impossible to make out, but no one who's familiar with the genera would ever go to say Rumiko Takahashi, and tell her to change her style because it looks too much like Hayao Miyazaki's style... just like no one familiar with the styles of western comics would go to the guys at Marvel Comics, and tell them to change their style because their art looks too much like what the guys at DC comics are drawing. no. but to an eye that is not used to looking at them, yes, they are rather similar. which is why i get angry at people who don't know what their talking about telling me to change my style because it's anime/manga style and they can't tell the difference between it and the style of Bleach, or Fullmetal Alchemist, or Square Enix.

Which is exactly what my teacher did on Wednesday. before even seeing a single person draw a single anime/manga genera picture, he outright banned it from the first project, then went into a whole spiel about 'silly high school girls that just draw manga or anime, but nothing else. Don't draw it, find your own style, don't just copy what other people have done.' and that PISSED ME OFF. yes, i understand that some people who draw 'anime style' are really just copying things they've seen before, and usually do it pretty poorly. and i can understand his frustration with that, and the fact that he has probably had little or no exposure to actual anime/manga and likely could not tell a series by Takahashi from a movie by Miyazaki and Studio Ghibli. so why does a man who is so ignorant of this genera feel he must not just ban his students from drawing in that style for his class (albeit he said no syndicated characters, and he wouldn't be able to tell an OC from an actual character from a series) but to also tell his students to change their style? that's crossing a MAJOR line. to be fair, he banned the use of superheroes, but he didn't tell the people who draw in a similar style to Marvel/DC to change their style and not copy people. it's ignorant, and insulting, and i am completely unimpressed by that conduct. (he also later, in his other class made a crack at Printers, and i just so happen to work as a student worker in the PRINTING DEPARTMENT, and i'd already said it, i'd told students in class that if they needed stuff printed in the new restricted system to come see me in the printing department... then he brought it up the next class (because i have two classes with him like i said before) and that was monday, then wednesday, the day he made those two comments, he'd reminded everyone to be nice to me because i'll be doing their printing... then he went and made that comment... i said an indignant 'hey' in response, and he just about looked like a deer in headlights... before apologizing.

out of time, got to go, but isn't that just the worst, lowest, most horrible thing an art teacher could ever say?